Turn your ordinary drive into a Road Trip
It’s the time of year when families begin their bickering over who gets to host various holidays, and which of you poor souls are going to spend countless hours in the car driving to them. But this year, when your family inevitably asks “How was your drive?”, you’ll have a fantastic story to tell. Because you’re going to turn that traffic filled slog into a bona fide Road Trip (TM)!
Attractions
There’s nothing wrong with just picking a direction and driving off, but I usually like to have a few destinations in mind when planning a trip. Roadside America is my go to resource for finding places worth visiting; they’ve got damn near every “World’s Largest Blank”, life-sized dinosaur statue, and Bigfoot hotspot neatly categorized by state. Just select the states you may be passing through or near, and they’ll give you a map with every tourist trap clearly marked. They’ve even got a trip planner if you want routes and directions. How else would I have discovered the Boggy Creek Monster in the tiny town of Fouke Arkansas? Or the world’s largest (and divinely inspired) treehouse?
You really don’t want to know how far I drove to take my picture in this thing.
The other big contender vying to be the authority on weird stuff is Atlas Obscura. The Atlas is a little less kitschy, so if you’re less interested in paying five bucks to see Elvis’ face in an old bowl of oatmeal at a sideshow, they might be more your style. They lack the mapping functionality of Roadside America (it’s still easy to search by location), but feature more in depth stories and histories for their locations. There’s quite a bit of overlap between the two sites, but you should check out both so you don’t miss anything. You wouldn’t want to tragically miss out on Cocaine Bear, would you?
Be sure not to overlook our National Parks when planning your trip. With over 59 Parks across the country, they’re one of your best resources. Like the previously mentioned sites, you can easily search by state to see what’s along your route. They also provide information about each park, such as if they allow pets, camping, hours, or if they charge any fees (most are free!). A few years back I ended up camping a few days at Mammoth Cave, and it was hands-down the best part of my trip. Over the course of a million years, underground rivers eroded a system of caves over 400 miles long just for you to take selfies in. Nature is truly miraculous.
The Park Service also posts articles on their home page; at the time of this writing they’ve got a list of all their sites that share a history with pirates. So even if you’re more of a swashbuckler than a bird watcher, they’ve still got you covered.
Don’t forget about your state parks; Stateparks dot com has a list of all the state parks in the country as well.
Time
“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.”
This one is short and maybe a bit obvious, but give yourself all the time you can spare. Leave Wednesday after work for Thanksgiving on Thursday, and the only thing you’ll have time to see is traffic. Take an extra day or two and travel the scenic route. It’s worth it.
Music
Make a mix tape. Youngsters take note, a mix tape is not merely a playlist. I lack the hipster cred to properly get into the
Remember these?
art of the mix tape, but suffice to say the songs should share a theme, flow together, and the tape should have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Aim for about ten to twelve songs; keeping to that length will force you to choose the best of
the best for a solid forty five minutes of awesome. Any longer than that and it may start to lose focus. This tape will be the theme songs of your trip. You know how every time Indiana Jones does something awesome, there’s a “da da da DAA da da daa”? This mix will be your “da da da DAA da da daa“. It’ll help keep you pumped as you drive along, plus you’ll forever associate those songs with your trip.
Spotify, Pandora, and other streaming services are great too. They can fill a lot of the time when you aren’t listening to your mix tape. Of course, I’m a bit old fashioned and still like to listen to CD’s most of the time.
Food
Every region has something they make exceptionally well. Texas has barbecue, the Carolinas have Carolina barbecue, Memphis has Memphis barbecue, and Saint Louis has… alright, I admit I may have a problem. But even aside from regional differences in delicious slow cooked meat, there are some things you just can’t find anywhere else.
Delicious.
Passing through New Orleans? Creole and Cajun is the way to go. Florida has the best Cuban food you can get without breaking an embargo. Authentic German delis have a knack for existing in the middle of nowhere throughout the northeast. Wherever it is you’re going, there’s probably something delicious there. Sure, you could stick to the chain restaurants you know, but where’s the adventure in that?
At this time, there doesn’t appear to be a comprehensive regional guide to American food, but this list by Lonely Planet is a decent start. You can always just google “statename regional food“.
The other important thing to remember is that it’s perfectly acceptable to stuff your face with junk food on long car trips. It’s the perfect time to load up on everything cheese flavored, sugar filled, or otherwise artery clogging that you normally have the good sense to avoid.
Places to Stay
Throughout most of the country, there will be plenty of lodging options. There are Air BnB’s just about everywhere these days, many of the national and state parks offer camping for a small fee, and there’s always something oddly relaxing about staying at a hotel. A road trip is also the perfect time to visit old friends and crash on their couch. And if you’re really on a budget, you can always just sleep in your car. It’s generally pretty uncomfortable, but hey, it’s free.
Infinite horsepower, itty bitty living space.
